All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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