how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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