Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Let's get the cat blown out
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
