how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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