I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
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