I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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