Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
