You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
As shirtless as possible
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Randomize
