Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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