is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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