My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
