Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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