so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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