If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
