she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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