I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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