when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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