when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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