erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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