he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
