I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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