My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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