you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
