the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize