Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize