Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
