We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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