i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
