These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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