she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
