i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
