shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize