i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
