Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
