did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
