just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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