sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
