Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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