I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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