she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
