what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
