I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
