I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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