We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
