Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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