I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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