dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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