You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
