Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
