I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
