did you get engaged???
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
