i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
either way he was missing a nipple.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
