speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize