grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
