She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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