Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
