You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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