i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
