trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
