Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
