Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
