his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
