Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
