so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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