and you said cock pushups were impossible
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
