worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
