he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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