Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
