I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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